Early old age is a worrying position to be in, you are tired more often than not with low energy and motivation, this can really grind you down. Your mind seems to wander undisciplined, distracted by all the silly things that shouldn’t matter, those things that worry you but are outside of your control. You find yourself physically slower, more ponderous and gaining in size with each passing year. Below are 7 common mistakes that middle aged men make that can lead to these challenges, if you work in tech or finance these mistakes tend to be more prevalent in my experience perhaps due to the high cognitive requirements of those industries or in other words the greater emphasis on brain power whilst the body lays idol.
Further articles and videos will go into greater depth for each of these mistakes.
If you would like to find out more about how you can avoid feeling older than your years contact us for a 12 minute discovery session at info@druidhighperformance.com or call 0207 4166 733.
1. Thinking and worrying about work when you’re not there. We all from time to time can be guilty of this mistake, especially with a big meeting or presentation looming or when working under uncertainty such as during a restructure. This mistake can however become a habit which presents lots of problems especially for people working in jobs that are cognitively heavy such as in the tech and finance sector. Working through lunch breaks is a quick way to get ground down and doesn’t allow for any downtime during a long day at work. People who work through their lunch falsely assume that they can perform well with no rest day after day. Once the work day is finished with no breaks taken and plenty of stress and perhaps anxiety you retreat home and stew on whatever issues are going on in the office. In your twenties you might be able to cope with this punishing schedule however as you move into middle age you inevitably slow down. Your evenings and weekends are no longer yours to enjoy with your family and friends but stressful, worrying episodes that chip away at you.
A further post will look at this subject in further detail.
2. Focusing on extrinsic goals or lacking clear goals. Extrinsic goals are based on external factors such as getting a promotion, an intrinsic goal would be for example feeling more fulfilled at work as being fulfilled is an internal result. When setting goals it is important to ask what is it you really want, making a mistake here can lead to getting something you never really desired. Take the example of someone wanting to get a promotion to the level of manager purely for the kudos and pay rise but have not the desire or the skills to manage people effectively. They now have far greater responsibility at work which leads to longer hours, more stress and time away from their family. Having the wrong type of goal is one mistake, another is having no goals at all. Have you got a clear goal in your mind? the vast majority of people don’t. With no destination in mind you will likely waste precious time and energy and feel a lack of motivation. Those lacking goals are more likely to feel stagnant, be easily distracted and are more likely to procrastinate.
A further post will look at this in further detail.
3. Too much technology not enough sleep. Technology has taken over our lives in the last few years, not only do we spend our working life stuck behind a screen but more and more time in our personal life with the coming of the smart phone. These useful gadgets have become a blight, our attention span suffering with each passing year as we become more dependant and hungry for distraction. For many of us the last hour before bed will be full of games, videos and the news leaving you in a poor state to drift off to sleep. Is it any wonder that so many are suffering from insomnia and so rise exhausted in the morning? everywhere we turn there are enticing distractions that do not serve us. Many psychologists believe that high exposure to technology is changing our brains structure, making us easily distracted, lazy and unfocused. With no downtime and a chance for our minds to unwind and unpack we become stressed and the chances of us suffering from depression and anxiety rise.
A further post will look at this in further detail.
4. Too static. Having spent years working in offices looking at a screen myself I know the trap of going home tired and doing the same in the evening. This sort of lifestyle can creep up on you especially when you get past the age of 35. The effect of this is devastating to your energy levels, we will likely gain weight, lose libido, hamper our confidence and our ability to combat stress. On a physical level sitting most of the day is terrible for spine health, next time you are in the office take a look at your colleagues posture and you will almost certainly see a ‘C’ shaped spine. In this collapsed position organs are squashed, discs bulge and the head pushes forward from the shoulders resulting in extreme tension in the upper back. Sedentary life ages the body, it tightens the joints and robs us of the vigour of our youth. Sedentary people are more susceptible to stress and anxiety than active people, the longer you spend sedentary in middle age the more these challenges will effect your long term health.
A further post will look at this in further detail.
5. Lack discipline with diet and alcohol. Many things start to slow down at middle age, metabolism being a big one especially after 17 years of being an ‘adult’. Diet and nutrition is a massive subject with a tremendous amount of information available to us all, most of us however are aware of what good food is and is not. Discipline is a key consideration, if each and every day is the same as any other when it comes to your diet then you can easily get in to the habit of eating junk food often. Data suggests that this is what so many people are doing, obesity and diabetes are steadily rising, the demographic that represents the biggest group admitted to hospital with obesity are men within the middle age bracket. Alcohol in limitation in my eyes is fine however it can become a real problem when it becomes a regular part of your diet similar to junk food. Having a poor diet and drinking too much is going to not just effect you but also your family, playing with the kids will become exhausting at an age when you should be acting as a role model for them.
A further post will look at this in further detail.
6. Lack a peer group. Research suggests that middle aged men tend to lose touch with the friends they grew up with, they also struggle to make new friendships, the net effect of this is isolation in the worse case and very few strong relationships on the other. Most men forge their closest friendships in school or college, that time before starting work, by the time most reach middle age some of these relationships have dwindled away not to be replaced as work and family take over. In years past men would go to the pub but pubs are closing in record numbers and have never been associated with a healthy lifestyle, many men played sports in their youth but as middle age is reached the majority stop as body’s slow down and injuries become more of an issue. Lacking this peer group of close friends many men turn in on themselves and bottle up their feelings potentially leading to depression, frustration and despair. The group with the highest suicide rate and lowest subjective well-being is middle aged men unfortunately, part of the reason I would speculate is related to this lack of a peer group. Several organisations have been founded in recent years to help with these challenges.
7. Not seeking help when choosing an exercise routine. If you visit a park you will likely see people jogging about, pass by a gym and you will see many running on a treadmill. The reason this is a mistake for so many is it relies on lots of will power because very few people enjoy it. 50% of people starting an exercises regime will quit before they reach six months, choosing the cheapest option rather than an option you would enjoy is short sighted and only adds to the chance that you will be one of those that quit. As so few enjoy jogging its more tied to the extrinsic type of goals setting mentioned earlier, without seeking some help you place less value on how important being fit and healthy is to you and set yourself up to fail. When you quit you think falsely that exercise isn’t for you and no doubt feel disappointed that it is not for you to be lean, healthy and strong, it could then take years before you take action again with more health problems to deal with as a consequence.
If you are currently making some or all of these mistakes I urge you to start eliminating these from your life, doing so will get you heading in the right direction. If you wish to feel fresher, think sharper and look leaner commit to taking some action on these and also put into some action the 5 tips from my previous blog post here http://tiny.cc/dgunqy
If you would like to find out more about how you can avoid feeling older than your years contact us for a 12 minute discovery session at info@druidhighperformance.com or 0207 4166 733.